e@out patient: To Know or Not To Know

This posting comes with a delay not necessarily because I was busy (not to mention getting knocked out for a few days with a coughing cold) but because I needed some time to collect my thoughts first.  Too much has happened in last five weeks and with the latest biopsy we have come to a closure with the diagnosis.  Before this point, we were all anxious to find out what the root cause was and yet after finding out the diagnosis of severe aplastic anemia, one has to wonder which is worse -- not knowing or knowing what it is.  I do admit how deceitful, wicked, and opportunistic my mind is.

The doctors explained the treatment options and although they are confident to find the complete cure, the process itself for Ensay will mean a major change of lifestyle for a significant period and, as his dad, to ponder what may be going through his mind now and will then stirs my emotion wishing if there was a way to go through this in place of him I'd jump on that opportunity in a blink of an eye.  Did I tell you how proud I am of my son, to see him unwaveringly taking this rough ride while fixated on the goodness of God?

God comforted us through the daily Word from Psalm 34: 18: The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. 20: He keeps all his bones, Not one of them is broken. In light of one of the foremost treatments being the bone marrow transplant, can there be a better message from God than verse 20?  Not to mention the verse 18 which I had been treasuring for many years because every time I read it, I get a rush of His refreshing strength being transfused into my life stream; and this time was no exception to lift me up above the situation I'm in into rejoicing Him for who He is, bigger than any brokenhearted or spirit-crushing obstacles I may face.

WOW Report -- Many of you are continuously supporting and encouraging us with prayers, phone calls, emails, and dropping by with goodies.  If anyone tells you there are no miracles these days, tell them they are wrong because all of your caring touches miraculously transformed into extension of God's hand for our family. We would not be where we are today without you all.  We love you all!